The most difficult thing I've ever done

I think breastfeeding just might be the most difficult thing I've ever done. I got off to a rough start and intentionally waited this long (6 months) to write about my overall experience.

The first 3 months were brutal. I remember thinking that anybody claiming breastfeeding to be "rewarding" was plain out of their mind. My biggest nightmare was a pulsing pain in the left breast that happens occasionally after feedings. I suspect it to be a condition called "vasospasm" but not completely sure. It seems to be worse in the early mornings and got so bad sometimes I couldn't sleep. I remember feeling so helpless at one point I'd jokingly "pray to the breastfeeding gods" before each feeding. Another recurring problem for me was clogs (due to a surface "milk blister"). Soaking in saline water and applying heat would eventually help with the unclogging, but it was a pain to have to do that several times a day.

Then magically, when Nathan was about 4 months old, all the problems just went away. My theory is that he finally figured out the most efficient way of sucking to extract milk, which happened to be the correct latching position.

So lessons I've learned:
1. Proper latch is the most important thing.
2. Doctors don't know much about breastfeeding.
3. Lactation consultants will just tell you you're doing it all wrong.
4. The internet is the best resource out there.
5. Getting a good quality breast pump is totally worth it.
6. Don't bother buying a nursing bra until at least 2 weeks after giving birth. I also found the ones from Target to be the most economical and comfortable.
7. Around 3-4 months things will get better on their own.

I consider myself very fortunate to finally be able to enjoy pain free nursing. Nathan definitely associates nursing with not just food but love and comfort. Whenever I lie him down in my lap he'd kick his feet anxiously in anticipation. Sometimes he'll fall asleep at the breast and I'd hold him a little longer. Other times he'd finish eating, lie back in my lap, stretch, and look at me so lovingly with a big smile on his face. Those are the moments that I wish I could live in forever.