To Grandma With Love

I would like to dedicate this post to my beloved grandmother, who pasted away earlier this month.

After much reflection on my own childhood, I realize how fortunate I am to have had grandma raise me. From memory we didn't have much growing up. No toys, no books, and only got new clothes at new years. I guess we were poor by today's standards, but in my mind my childhood couldn't have been any happier. Most importantly I always felt loved and taken care of. I remember having lots of uncles and aunts to play with (being the first grandchild), but grandma was the one who was always there. Her top priority was putting food on the table and stuffing me good. There was even a competition with neighbor down the street on whose grandchild was chubbier. Another vivid memory I have is every day after coming back from school, grandma would leave this pile of peeled sunflower seeds on the table for me. (I guess food is a common theme here...) For the longest time grandma was the one I felt closest to, and the only one who could get me to sleep at night (after a good back scratch of course).

Only after having kids of my own, did I realize how much work it must've been to bring me up. James and I can barely handle Nathan and Evan right now. I can't imagine what it must be like back then. In the 1970's in China, there were no washing machines, no dish washers, no hot water on tap, no gas/electric stoves, no bathtubs, not even flushable toilets. Grandma worked day and night all her life for the rest of us. She's the most unselfish person I know, and never stopped to take care of herself. I don't think I remember Grandma ever giving me any lectures on what to do with my life, she led by example, and I hope I can do the same.

One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't spend more time with grandmother in her twilight years. As I learn to deal with the sadness of losing someone so dear, I am also ever so grateful for having two wonderful boys of my own to take care of. I hope to pass to them what my grandmother passed to me. Little things, like getting a back scratch before going to bed (which Nathan already enjoys today) is probably what he will remember the most of his childhood.

And Nathan, when you're a little older, I will tell you all about my grandma.